The Sexiness of Solitude

It seems like 2018 has flown by so quickly I barely had time to enjoy it. I don’t know about you, but I consider 2018 to be a year of tremendous growth. It may not be visible to you, but I see it. Love bugs 2017 was a tornado, more like tsunami, but I’m recovering. 2018 has been the best clean up job ever!! I’m excited about 2019 being the year of manifestation! It does not mean that life will not have its challenges, they will come. This year has given me the tools I needed to navigate those challenges successful. I had to learn to admit defeat, ask for help, receive reprimand. And man, we’ve come a long way baby!

I haven’t gain financial wealth or real property, but I’ve gained a wealth of knowledge about myself. That is one of the most valuable treasures, knowing oneself. Thank God for this year of self-discovery. I spent the entire year getting reacquainted with this brilliant, sexy, fireball and let me to you, she’s lit!! It may sound cocky but sometimes you gotta toot your own horn. Especially when you’re going through emotional challenges. I’ve found that the alone times are when you are most in need of an immediate shot of “feelin myself”, “you got this”, rah-rah encouragement.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying solitude is always the best option. Believe me, I had my tribe to lean on (even in sadness, I’m not much of a hugger lol). Intentional solitude helped me to focus on me. At the end of the day, I could look at my situation and focus on the external, only to become a “Bitter Betty”, or I could look internally. Being better was my choice. I found that I had to be diligent with myself when it came to doing the work. Every month I set an internal goal and that would be my focus. Here’s an example in January I set a goal of being intentional with my words and actions. If I said I was going, I was there. I quickly learned that I didn’t have time to do the stuff I spent so much time doing for everyone else. Taking care of me is a full-time job. And I am becoming better at it daily.

Listen, it requires work to do a true self-examination. I found that I had to be diligent with myself. Work that, if we’re honest, society does not give us time to do. There’s a job to go to, kids to feed, partners to help, parents to care for, deadlines to meet, permission slips due, groceries to buy, you get the picture.  It’s darn near impossible to find time to sleep. That’s why, in my opinion so many women miss it. I had to hit stop on everything. Everyone’s not able to hit stop. They have children, a spouse, etc. The Superwomen of the world are bound to self-destruct if we don’t lend a helping hand.

2018 turned out to give me exactly what I needed solitude. In my times of solitude I would listen to music, take a walk, go to the park. Any area that you find gives you peace is good area to sit and rest in solitude. You can go with the intent of solving a problem or just go open to the voice of God. I encourage you to give it a shot. I acknowledge that I have a tribe uniquely created to love me and my dramatics. They are all, for the most part, capable without me.

Reach out to your tribe. Being able to say “I need a break” and trusting that you will be heard can be a scary task. Been there. I’m blessed to have a tribe who loves me through my journey.

There’s no blueprint to balancing it all. Different people have different needs.

Check on your strong friend, she might need you.